How the Paradoxes of Faith and the Beauty of the World Led Me to a Deeper Encounter with God
These reflections may stir dissent and perhaps even provoke hostility, as I venture into critiques that some may openly or silently repudiate. Yet, even knowing all of this, I desire to move forward and write this. For we are called towards the truth and to pursue God. We must, in such, be honest to our conscience and the love which moves our heart closer to all that there is.
In the realm of Scripture and Tradition, many lay claim, yet their commitment often dwindles to personal interpretations. Words undergo subtle distortions, manipulated to align with individual narratives, selectively embracing and rejecting fragments. The rich complexity and diversity of history fall by the wayside, overshadowed by a hostile response to challenges and dialogue that could deepen our collective understanding. Rather than being seekers, they adopt the stance of settlers; instead of embracing the role of learners, they assume the mantle of lecturers. These factions, despite declaring “I am the church,” readily cast accusations of heresy or schism, often against others, conveniently ignoring inconvenient aspects of history.
Throughout the annals of time, systems of authority, whether through political power or manipulative tactics, have been wielded. Gaslighting perpetuates beliefs that dissenters face eternal damnation. Dogma and doctrine, even when evidence challenges their validity, remain immune to questioning. Attempts to question them result in personal attacks, resembling a horde of unthinking zombies blindly defending doctrines while dismissing dissenters. This environment stifles critical examination, fostering a closed-minded allegiance that disregards the nuanced truths inherent in our faith and history.
In the midst of these reflections, I’ve stumbled upon profound beauty in Christian mysticism. As Julian of Norwich eloquently expressed, “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” This mystical journey unravels the profound love of Christ, transcending the complexities and conflicts within the Church.
Despite grappling with a sense of spiritual homelessness, I’ve discovered a divine connection in the inner hearts of mankind, notably through the intricate tapestry of high liturgical rituals across various churches. Embracing challenges has catalyzed personal growth, and befriending those labeled as “schismatics and heretics” has unexpectedly illuminated God.
Acknowledging the intricate interplay of church history, sacred tradition, and human pride, I’ve found beauty not only in Christian teachings but also in the musings of pagan philosophers, the verses of heathen poets, and the art once condemned as pagan and evil. This synthesis coalesces within me, motivating a continuous quest for God, embracing the diverse and often paradoxical facets of spirituality converging into a harmonious journey.
In a few words, let me state some wisdom that evokes mysticism, “The soul, by reason of its purity, sees God, as far as it is possible for the creature to see its Creator.”
Nova Polis 